School and being around other kids provides many great things for kids, I’m not going to list them all because that’s not actually what today’s blog is about.
Today’s blog is about one thing that school and being around other kids provides that isn’t so good and that’s bullying. I am very passionate about this topic because it breaks many kids and takes too many from this world too soon and they are often the ones that we need in this world the most – the loving, kind hearted givers, the artists and the healers.
Yesterday I heard a lady talking with Mum about how her little girl is being picked on at school. I don’t mean in the ‘kids haven’t learnt how to behave socially yet’ kind of way but in the actual mean and nasty for the sake of being mean and nasty way.
Incase you have never experienced bullying – no one likes being bullied (shocking I know) yet some like to do the bullying. For the record – I am very anti-bullying and I exercise zero tolerance, but I think we can do more for kids who are being bullied.
When we confide in an adult we often get “oh don’t worry about it”, “ignore them and they’ll go away”, “just go and play somewhere else” and I’m here to tell you – none of these are very helpful and actually they sort of make us feel like you don’t really ‘get’ what we are going through.
I think kids who are being bullied need to be given information that changes their way of processing the bullying, their mindset towards it. I think kids should be told ‘why’ like …
- sometimes it’s because they are being bullied and they want to learn how to handle it by learning from your reactions.
- some kids bully to make themselves feel better about themselves because they don’t like themselves very much or aren’t happy.
- some bullies are having a hard time at home.
All of the above can help a kid who is being bullied process the experience differently. Mostly I think that it’s important that they understand that there is something wrong with the bully not them (the one being bullied).
So if a kid has been brave enough and trusted you enough to confide in you that they are being bullied, please don’t belittle their concerns with a throw-away, outdated, 10th generation, knee-jerk response like those mentioned above. Listen to them, let them know you are there for them and help them understand that it is about the bully’s problems and shortcomings – not theirs.
Do you have an experience with bullying? Yourself or your child? Did you find something that helped?
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